Letting Go Of The Wheel
Just to respond on an earlier description of me as the failed central character of my own story.
Not to to contest the charge. I just want to make a statement, that’s all:
I can look back now and see times when a guiding hand was attempting to steer events in my favor. But I refused to let go of the wheel.
What was I thinking? I don't know.
Call it the unreason why things turn out as they do. And the reason why 20-20 foresight continues to elude my grasp. Maybe yours, too.
The signs, the wonders, the clues, are all there. They shout at us. But we're too busy trying to figure everything out to understand that the hardest things have already been figured out.
I made a lot of bad calls. Mostly because I was focused on things I couldn't see, instead of on the things I could. We all have flaws. Some of us just have flaws that visit more harm on ourselves and those around us. And we have to own it.
Because, in the end, I got far less and far more than I deserved.
I got to behold— and hold her—again.
We all get one unspeakable gift. She was mine. And for that, I'll gladly take the fall.
End of statement.
5.5.5— Harvey Oxenhorn